Heroes Reborn

I’m fully prepared to disappoint you with my ennui about this show. . .

Network: NBC
Day/Time: Wednesday 8 e/7 c
Where are we?: All over the world!

There’s an evo/human convention in Odessa, TX (next door is the Friday Night Lights reunion panel). Noah calls his daughter, Claire (she was the cheerleader in the original, right?) and says how he misses her and is looking forward to seeing her, then BOOM. A bomb goes off and pretty sure Claire died. . .at least as long as Nashville is still on the air.

We cut to various parts of the world where various people are running. I’m sure there’s a significance, but I never got into the original show, so I dunno.

There’s a group meeting with a code word in Chicago (oh, hey guys!) and the teenager needs to leave but drops his ice cream punch card. Noooooo!!! Then Zachary Levi tells a story about how his kid was killed in the explosion and then he and his friend shoot everybody. Wait whaaaa?

Then the show really jumps around. . .

Austin – Noah is giving a speech about regret. . .to sell a car. A creepy guy is in the lot watching him as his fiancee yammers on about choosing a band and getting white dishes.

East LA – Ex-soldier is giving a speech to a school about being a hero in Afghanistan. . .while secretly pouring whiskey into his pop.

Carbondale – Teenager who escaped the shooting is getting bullied at school. Hears about the coach at school (who was also at the meeting) and “died in a fire.”

Chicago – Guy who saw the kid run out of the fire goes to give a description to the police. This guy (apparently posing as a detective?) with a suitcase full of pennies spins one in front of him and then the guy forgets everything.

Japan – There’s a piece of paper leading some dude to an apartment. There’s a girl there who’s clearly surprised. He explains that he’s some super gamer who beat some level in a game and was given the address within the game. Also, the girl looks like a character in that game. As she kicks him out, he sees a door that looks like it could be in that game he’s obsessed with.

Ok, so back with the teenager, some girl who works at his favorite ice cream place offers him a job (just don’t take it from your sibling. We’ve all seen that Brady Bunch ep, right?). He’s like “Yeah, that’s a great idea, nobody will try to kill me there because I accidentally dropped my punch card.”

Over in Noah’s neck of the woods, guy watching him shows up at his house and Noah runs out to confront him. Guy is basically like “Something big is coming! Oh shit. You called the cops?”

At the garage that the solider now works at, we learn that there’s some vigilante keeping the streets safe and spraying his face on walls. Oh, and there’s the masked guy fighting some blonde woman and throwing a knife at her. Yiiiikes. The solider goes to find his friend and realizes that he’s the vigilante. . .and he’s hurt.

Back at the ice cream shop, that guy got the job! Zachary Levi is there and the kid doesn’t know he’s a bad guy (well, his character is). The chick who also shot people at the beginning comes in, and the boy goes outside with them. The girl who hired him follows and the bad woman goes to shoot her. The boy uses his powers to get the bad guys out of there. Then talks about he’s lame because he doesn’t know where they go. Ugh, stop being so emo! You have a superpower!

Then, some chick stares at a hole in the arctic.

Reaction: I think I made it through about two episodes of the original Heroes, so this show isn’t so much my thing. There’s a lot going on alluding to more to come, which I’m sure is exciting for fans of the show. It’s well done and there’s a lot going on. . .but I don’t so much want to get sucked in.

What It’s Against on My TiVo:
Grey’s Anatomy
What it’s against that night:

ABC: Grey’s Anatomy
CBS: Thursday Night Football
CW: Vampire Diaries
FOX: Bones

Verdict: Not Adding

Prediction: This is a tough one. . .it’s against some stiff competition with football and Grey’s. I also feel like the ratings expectations will be kind of high, since it’s tapping into the Heroes fan base. So far, it looks like a good show, so I’m gonna say. . .
Yes to Season 2

The Breakdown
Quote from Kid Who’s Too Smart: No kids!
Over-dramatic News Promo: Watched on my computer. . .but extra categories are below
Thing My Dad Was Doing While I’m Trying to Watch the Show: Watching The Simpsons
Mom’s Take: (Not sure. . .she was watching something in another room too!)
Unnecessary Slam on Something Innocuous: Denver (“People in Canada are nice!” “Yeah, you said that about Denver. . .”)
Cops or FBI Agents?: Cops

Oh my gosh! That’s. . .

Chuck!

Chuck!

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Rosewood

He takes all major credit cards.

Network: FOX
Day/Time: Wednesday 8 e/7 c
Where are we?: Miami

Another show, another guy running, but this time just for fun (when is running ever fun?). He has a large heart surgery scar and sees copters flying above and heads to that area. There was a jumper and based on a couple of vitals, the guy identifies him as a pancreatic cancer patient who was in the “Magic City” for one last hurrah before he took a header off a balcony. He does autopsy consultations. . .which nobody really seems to want. . .

He goes home and his mom talks about some 23 year old girl, who she cares about for some reason (I couldn’t really hear and missed it) who was found dead after her car went over the guardrail and into the ocean. Rosewood (our hero’s name) is on it! He gets the body into his futuristic autopsy lair and barks orders at his sister and her gf, like “Blacklight my world.” I hope they’re rolling their eyes. . .because I am. He finds some weird thing on her foot that is important for some reason and some splotches of things on her stomach. Coool.

He goes to the Miami PD to tell them what he founds and has what’s supposed to be flirty banter with Girl Tank Top Cop (GTTC), but instead we all just feel awkward. Especially when she says she has a husband. He questions why she would leave the NYPD after making lieutenant and she’s vague, which TOTALLY means her husband is dead. Well, that and the awkward flirting. They also make her wear cotton tank tops through most of the episode (when she’s not in a dress), so clearly they’re trying to make her look approachably sexy.

They go to question the deceased’s bf and after beating him around a bit, Rosewood asks where his almond butter is and says he has all the ingredients for her last meal. . .saltines, almond butter, and whiskey sour. Ok, up until like a month ago when I finally threw out the almond butter that I learned I was allergic to, I had those ingredients too. . .minus the sour mix. I’m sure most of you have at least 3 of the 4 as well. They arrest him, but then Rosewood notices some splotches which are consistent with being drugged, just like the vic. He’s ruled out, I guess? She was having an affair with some older man, but the bf doesn’t know anything about him. Back to the drawing board!

They figure out who he is and go to his boat. He doesn’t answer, so GTTC busts open the door and he’s dead with a gunshot to the head and a gun in his hand. Look, I’m no cop, but this looks clearly set up. Another trip to the autopsy lair shows that he had a stamp on his arm to a club. It doesn’t make sense to them that this older guy would go to a club (um, he has money?), so they decide to go check it out. Even in fleece (in Miami?!) and cool t-shirt/blazer combo, they look like cops.

They meet some guy and start asking him questions he doesn’t like. . .he fears for the safety of everyone in his life but GTTC gets herself an invite to “The Lavender Party”. Ooh! That sounds so relaxing!

Backstory time! Rosewood tells GTTC about how he has two holes in his heart and brain aneurysm issues and only has less than ten years to live due to the fact that everything in his body is a ticking time bomb. He then tells her to go home to her husband (who’s dead, right?).

Onto the party! It’s on a yacht (and nary a lavender product to be found!), and GTTC is dancing up on some dude (and her acting is way more natural when she’s not copping it up). She drops something into his pocket and then Rosewood shows up. He starts bothering Carlos (the dude she was dancing up on whose party it is), the professional DJ, and Carlos is like “Get off my boat.” Meanwhile, GTTC goes downstairs to use the bathroom/snoop around and finds drugs hidden in his spinning record things.

Carlos finds her and pulls a gun, they wrestle, he gets his gun back, runs off, and takes some young blonde girl hostage. Guns are drawn, but Rosewood to the rescue with some injectable he has that will make your nerves feel like fire. Everyone is safe and they got the bad guy! Carlos also copped to killing the original vic, which was caught on bluetooth, which is what GTTC slipped into his pocket at the beginning of the party.

Rosewood shows up at the Miami PD again and talks about how he always gets milkshakes after a hard case and she talks about how her husband is dead (AHHH!! I KNEW IT!!!!). He’s like “Oh man, I’m an asshole. . .also, are you available?” Then points to his billboard like a douchebag.

Reaction:
There are SO many crime procedurals on this season. And all of them involve someone having a special skill. This show all around feels like it’s trying too hard. Every conversation is banter, the female lead is trying so hard to be a kickass cop, but succeeds most in scenes that aren’t about that, and the chemistry between Rosewood and GTTC feels really forced. The whole thing just kinda fell flat for me. There’s also mumbling, which is my nightmare.

What It’s Against On My TiVo:
Survivor

What it’s against that night:
ABC: The Middle/The Goldbergs
CBS: Survivor
CW: Arrow
NBC: The Mysteries of Laura

Verdict: Not adding

Prediction: It’s not overly compelling, and because it’s leading into Empire and not out of it, I don’t see it lasting.
No to Season 2

The Breakdown
Quote from Kid Who’s Too Smart: No kids!
Over-dramatic News Promo: Watched on my computer. . .but extra categories are below
Thing My Dad Was Doing While I’m Trying to Watch the Show: Talking loudly to my mom in the kitchen
Mom’s Take: “I wasn’t really watching, but from what I could overhear, it sounded pretty contrived.”
Unnecessary Slam on Something Innocuous: None!
Cops or FBI Agents?: Cops

Oh my gosh! That’s. . .

Anthony Michael Hall!

Anthony Michael Hall!

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Limitless

Side effects may include being a know-it-all

Network: CBS
Day/Time: Tuesday 10 e/9 c
Where are we?: NYC

Guy is running through the streets, being chased by FBI agents, goes into the subway, has a gun pulled on him, jumps in front of the train and it stops inches from his face. LIMITLESS.

He introduces himself to us – his name is Brian Finch (nice to meet you), and he’s failing at being a successful musician. He goes to judgey family dinners where they wonder when he’ll be a doctor already, and then his dad collapses.

Doctors don’t know what’s going on, but Brian gets a job as temp at a large bank to get some money to live off of. He has to file some stuff and falls asleep and one of his old bandmates who’s now an i-banker finds him and takes him to lunch. At lunch he gives him Super Ritalin (NZT), which causes him to know everything about everything and have a Montage of Insufferableness (playing guitar in the park like a prodigy, making everybody’s chess moves for them, fixing the hot dog cart hot dogs). He goes to get more pills from his friend, but he’s dead! And the pills are gone! The FBI agents swarm in and Brian escapes b/c he knows his own hand strength or something.

He spends the night cramming medical texts and figures out what his dad has. Turns out he’s right, but his dad needs a new liver. He needs more NZT! He figures somebody else who should have some, and that guy is dead too! He breaks into the FBI agent’s apt and basically says they can help each other and that her dad is dead. She’s like “Get out of my head! And my home!”  and he scoots.

Also, these pills. . .how long is the dosage? What do they taste like? I imagine they’re citrusy. Anyway, it turns out that the government studied people on these pills and they look like meth addicts after a year. Gross. He breaks into someone he figured out was also on the pills (due to his superbrain), and that guy (Adam) acts afraid of Brian but then shoots him in the leg. Turns out that bandmate using the pills was the reason that this guy wasn’t getting as much bonus money and he had to put a stop to it. He’s also every bit as douchey as you’d expect.

Brian flees and calls the FBI agent to figure out how to bandage himself back up. She’s all like “Why would I help you? And why do you think I know how to do that?” and then is like “Ok, here’s exactly how you do that.” I feel like she kind of sucks. Grow a backbone, FBI agent! Also, do you know the agents from Blindspot? You work in the same office. . .

He passes out while digging a bullet out of his leg and wakes up to Bradley Cooper (is that all it takes?), who’s a Senator and takes shots to combat the side effects of NZT. He’s taken it for 4 years and doesn’t have meth face! He offers to let Brian have the shot if he is his helper. . .or something. And keeps his mouth shut.

Brian calmly robs a bank to get into Adam’s security box (with the FBI agent) and they find his NZT pills. Byyeeee Adam. The FBI figures out that Brian doesn’t have the normal side effects of the pill and want to study him. . .while also offering him a consulting job.

Oh, and the dad is okay because they figured out how to fix him. And he’s not Joel Grey as I originally thought in the first scene.

Reaction:
Oh, you have a superpower? The FBI will find you! I’m curious what BCoops wants with him and how this will play out beyond figuring out what happened to his friend. I also heard that it’s morphed more into a Chuck-type show, so it’ll likely be a little more fun in future eps. It was an enjoyable episode though!

What It’s Against on my Tivo: Nothing!

What it’s against that night:
ABC: Beyond the Tank
CW: Local News
FOX: Local News
NBC: Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris

Verdict: Not adding

Prediction: There’s not much else on at that time, and it’s holding steady with Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris (which I don’t review because it’s not a story-based show, but it’s super fun and you should check it out).
Yes to Season 2

The Breakdown
Quote from Kid Who’s Too Smart: No kids!
Over-dramatic News Promo: Watched on my computer. . .but extra categories are below
Thing My Dad Was Doing While I’m Trying to Watch the Show: Asking Quartana how to pronounce about 10-15 different words. Also, he fixed the fireplace while I was writing this review.
Mom’s Take: “The first episode? Oh yeah, that’s good.”
Unnecessary Slam on Something Innocuous: Normal brains?

Oh my gosh! That’s. . .

Bradley Cooper!

Bradley Cooper!

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The Muppets

The Muppets. . .in a bizarro world

Network: ABC
Day/Time: Tuesday 8 e/7 c
Where are we?: LA

Kermit (who’s packed on a few foam pounds. . .) is leading a meeting of writers, and if we know anything about trying to organize and lead a group of Muppets, we know it’ll be full of jokes and lacking focus. Miss Piggy makes her grand entrance being horrible to everyone (was she always such an asshole? Probably. . .), and we see he turn it on for the audience. A performer in every respect.

Fozzy goes to meet his (human) girlfriend’s parents and they are NOT ok with the implied bestiality. Or bears. After the dad makes a comment about shitting the woods, Fozzy draws the line. . .and offers to have them meet Miss Piggy. Because comedians pretty much always just want to be liked. . .at any cost. Also, when he calls her, she doesn’t really know who he is. . .which. . .what?

Kermit is fretting about what to do and his new pig girlfriend shows up. She seems um. . .eager to please, but Kermit is all work. Miss Piggy is refusing to have Elizabeth Banks on the show, so Kermit and Skeeter book Tom Bergeron. Kermit then grows a pair (well, whatever the frog equivalent is. . .which I should know, since I think the one I dissected in 6th grade was male. . .) and says that they’re having Elizabeth Banks on regardless and Miss Piggy will just have to deal with it.

The writers are informed of the idea and rightfully think that shit’s gonna hit the fan. Instead of just telling Miss Piggy and telling her to deal, they plan to just surprise her with it. . .which will end well, I’m sure. Being a consummate pro, E. Banks shows up early, so they essentially kidnap her and take her on a studio tour.

Miss Piggy sees her, throws a shit fit in front of human girlfriend’s parents, berates Fozzy, and then runs off. The parents are not thrilled and leave more upset than ever. Kermit goes to talk to Piggy, and she tells him the reason she doesn’t want her there is because they broke up in front of a poster of her at a Pitch Perfect 2 showing. Also, they broke up as bf/gf, not husband/wife, which I’ll talk more about in the Reaction section. . .

Kermit realizes that he’s been insensitive (meh. arguable.) and Piggy agrees to interview her anyway. She also comments on Kermit’s weight gain, so it’s not just my imagination! The show goes on and Elizabeth Banks and Piggy make passive aggressive digs at each other. Oh women.

Reaction:
Overall, it’s your usual campy Muppet capery fun, but with a little more of a sardonic twist. I’m not a Muppet expert, but I find it hard to believe that Miss Piggy wouldn’t know who Fozzy is. Also, I just watched Kermit and Miss Piggy’s wedding at the end of Muppets Take Manhattan. . .so I know they were married and not just dating, while this show just has them as bf/gf. So, just a few holes in the Muppet lore. . .  Anyway, I enjoy the jokes that are over kids’ heads but fun for adults, and it’s fun to see a little bit from each of our favorite characters each week!

What It’s Against on my Tivo: Nothing!

What it’s against that night:
CBS: NCIS
CW: The Flash
FOX: Grandfathered (new)
NBC: The Voice results show

Verdict: Probably won’t add. . .but may check in on from time to time

Prediction: Had pretty good ratings (but nothing beats reality singing competition shows). They’ll probably drop a little bit, but I think they’ll remain solid.
Yes to Season 2.

The Breakdown
Quote from Kid Who’s Too Smart: No kids!
Over-dramatic News Promo: Had to watch On-Demand at my parents’ house. . .so I’ll add a couple special categories for that. . .
Thing My Dad Was Doing While I’m Trying to Watch the Show: Fix the gas fireplace
Mom’s Take: “I didn’t think it was very good, but the second episode was better.” (Spoiler!)
Unnecessary Slam on Something Innocuous: Tom Bergeron (“You went to Dancing with the Stars and the only star you brought back was Tom Bergeron?!”)

Oh my gosh! That’s. . .

Sam the Eagle

Sam the Eagle!

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Scream Queens

AHHHHHriana Grande

Network: FOX
Day/Time: Tuesday 9 e/8 c
Where are we?: Fictional College Town

2 hour premiere?! You’re already demanding a lot of me, show. Here we go. . .

It’s 1995 and sorority girls are dressed either like they’re wearing their older sister’s prom dress to a party, or like they’re straight out of Clueless. In reality, at least Bar/Bat Mitzvah fashion of that era was somewhere between those too. . .I can only imagine the same was true for sorority parties? Who knows. Anyway, one of the pledges gives birth in a bathtub and then dies. Also also, that bathroom is INSANE.

We’re at present day, and the Kappa Kappa Tau house is still amazing. Is this was sorority houses are like? We had a suite on campus that my friend Ann and I would volunteer to clean so we could watch Grease on a comfy couch and skip meetings. There were no awesome bathrooms nor bedrooms. Anyway, Emma Roberts’ character from American Horror Story: Coven is here and still berating the help. She’s the president of the chapter because she killed the current one by putting hydrochloric acid in her spray tan.

We then see our protagonist (Grace) with her (very attractive Goldie Hawn spawn) dad and like your fave Disney princess, she has a dead mom. They’re on their way to drop her off at college and I was like “Oh, what a cute 98 sweater. OMG. THAT’S WHEN SHE WAS BORN.” I was almost on my way to college that year. Grace is sad to leave dad but has an awesome roommate and they quickly bond over food and she talks her into pledging the awful sorority her mom was in.

Dean Activia (Jamie Lee Curtis)(not the actual character’s name) threatens Chanel (Emma Roberts) that she’s gonna take the chapter away, but the national rep (Nasim Pedrad!) and Dean Activia decide that they’ll let the chapter stay if they agree to admit anybody. Bring on the weirdos!

Chanel is a real bitch ordering her PSL and Grace is in line behind her and makes a joke to the barista (who looks a lot like a young Gaston), who is immediately smitten. He also maybe had a thing with Chanel last year? Too much is happening already. I’m not millennial enough to keep track of all of this. . .

Back at the house, Chanel kills the help by accident (face in a deep fryer), and then blackmails everybody into covering it up. They take the body to some meat locker (?) that’s nearby. Then one of her cronies (Ariana Grande) decides she can’t take it and she’s leaving, then gets killed by a guy in a devil mask through a after a pretty funny texting sequence. Also, her room in the sorority house is amazing.

Oh no! The first body is missing! But pledge week goes on. They bury the pledges in the backyard with only their necks sticking out. It’s all fun and games until somebody with a lawn mower comes through! Devil mask guy!

So they can’t exactly keep that one quiet and the campus finds out. As a result, they hire a security guard who has a nightstick and access to a real cop who can carry a sidearm. This will end well for everybody.

Ok, so let’s get to the men. Barista Boy is the editor of the paper and is teaming up with Grace to get the inside scoop on the house. Chanel’s bf Chad has a roommate who’s a Jonas brother. And gay and looking to pledge Kappa so he can out himself. Chanel is cool with it because it will help her achieve her goals of being a network news anchor, since it would make the makeup and wardrobe people happy (her words, not mine).

The guard is watching the house and her friend who’s a guard at the Best Buy parking lot shows up with burgers (that’s a good friend!). “What bad ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot?” Clearly not a Serial listener!! Original guard (Niecy Nash btw) goes to check things out in the house because Chanel started screaming because she saw the devil guy. The pledges go to find him and Niecy is like “What the hell are you thinking?!” and goes back outside, where devil guy has stabbed her friend.

Back at where the dudes live, which I’m pretty sure is above a Brooks Brothers store, and the devil guy shows up at Jonas brother’s room. He seems to know who he is but then shows up stabbed.

The girls are sufficiently freaked out, and Grace’s dad is now staking out the house to protect her. The girls pledge their loyalty to each other and the national rep goes out to hit on the dad. Jamie Lee Curtis looks on disapprovingly creepy.

Over at the really nice county morgue, someone opens up the drawer that Jonas brother is and he rips of the blood bandaid thing and is perfectly fine.

Who who is the devil guy?! Chad?! Jamie Lee Curtis?!!

Reaction: There’s a lot happening in this show, but it’s campy fun and very tongue in cheek. Who doesn’t love a show that knows how to make fun of itself? And the cameos are great too.

What It’s Against on my Tivo: Nothing! (I really need to Tivo more. . .)

What it’s against that night:
ABC: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
CBS: NCIS: New Orleans
CW: iZombie
NBC: Chicago Med

Verdict: Yep! Adding!

Prediction: Ratings were meh, but it was also a 2 hour show. . .
Yes to Season 2.

The Breakdown
Quote from Kid Who’s Too Smart: No kids!
Over-Dramatic News Promo: Asian Carp invasion!! How close are they to taking over the Great Lakes?!!
Unnecessary Slam on Something Innocuous: I mean, everything

Oh my gosh! That’s. . .

Abigail Breslin!

Abigail Breslin!

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Blindspot

It’s a crime procedural with a different skin. . .full of tats. . .

Network: NBC
Day/Time: Monday 10 e/9 c
Where are we?: NYC

A suspicious bag shows up in Times Square with a tag saying to content the FBI? Is it a bomb? Nope. It’s the love child of Anne Hathaway and Audrey Tautou all tatted up and crawling out of this (otherwise cute) sea foam green bag.

This chick was given a crazy amount of some drug that makes you suffer memory loss. She doesn’t know who she is or why she has tats or who gave her that cute haircut. NOTHING! She doesn’t know why an FBI agent’s name is tatooed between her shoulder blades. What she does remember is how to speak and read Chinese (fun fact, it’s believed that second languages, no matter when you learn them in life, are always active in your brain). The FBI takes her in and catalog her tattoos. They find some tat on the side of her neck that has today’s date in Chinese and elicits this dialogue:

-“Argh. It was right under our nose!” – Agent 1
-“Actually, it was behind her ear.” – Agent Pun Guy (my new favorite character on tv)They go to Chinatown because some clue led them there (I mean, besides the tat in Chinese), and the lady talks them into letting her go with. . .in case they need to translate something. While in Chinatown, the agents holding down the fort discover that she already had some ink that was covered up by the new stuff. It was a Navy SEAL logo. But they don’t have women! Or if they have women, they’re secret. . .oooohhhhhhhhh. The lady overhears the building super beating on his wife and goes down to stop it and then instinctively beats the shit out of both the super and his friend who shows up to help (domestic violence, not the wife). So yeah, she has some kind of training. . .They find a video that’s set to upload in four hours, which has a guy saying (in Chinese. See? Bringing her was a good idea!) that this is them having to pay for his family dying in prison camps in China. Turns out, he plans to plant a bomb on the Subway (we think), so they follow him there, he puts it in a tunnel and then disconnects his train car and leaves! Badass FBI Agent Man (who is sadly punless), rips it down, rips C4 off of it (can you do that?!) and then tosses it down the tunnel, where it explodes and he lives. Crazy. They realize that he intended to blow up the Statue of Liberty, and they head there to fight him. I end up remember how excited I was to go there and how basically you wait in line to slowly walk up some stairs. I think the fun parts were closed when I went though. . .He has Badass Agent in a headlock with a knife and the lady (now in long sleeves, so the makeup artists can take a little break) has a gun pointed at the perp. Badass Agent knows she maybe was a Navy SEAL, so he tells her to shoot and she gets the perp in the arm. And then flashes back to some gun range somewhere led by a guy dressed like Young Obi Wan Kenobi. Perp is in the hospital and Young Obi Wan visits him and talks about how this wasn’t the deal. . .Meanwhile, Agent Who Never Leaves the Office has a heavily redacted case file in front of her that has the same number as one of the tats. . .I smell a second episode plot!!Reaction: Pretty fun show. . .it’s fun to try to figure out the case along with who this lady is. And there are enough tats for at least five seasons of this show! Speaking of, I hope the makeup artists are making bank for this show because man. . .that’s a lot of work. Hopefully they’ll keep her fully dressed as much as possible.

Show Thesis: The FBI agent’s name was in the place hardest to see. . .her Blindspot

What It’s Against on My TiVo: Nothing!

What it’s against that night:
ABC: Castle
CBS: NCIS: Los Angeles
CW: Local News
FOX: Local News

Verdict: Pretty torn, but as of now, no. It seems like an easy to show pop in on though sometimes.

Prediction: Ratings were gangbusters for this, and it’s a super fun premise for a show. Also, crime procedurals typically kill in the ratings.
Yes to Season 2.

The Breakdown
Quote from Kid Who’s Too Smart: No kids. . . but PUN GUY!
Over-Dramatic News Promo: A computer chip implanted in your arm that can open doors!!
Unnecessary Slam on Something Innocuous: Tea “It tastes like grass trimmings.”

Oh my gosh! That’s. . .

Chrissy Seaver!

Chrissy Seaver!

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Minority Report

In the future we’ll make awkward references to the past.

Network: FOX
Day/Time: Monday 9 e/8 c
Where are we?: Washington D.C.

First things first, this is a TV show based on a movie. As usual, I haven’t seen the movie, so I have no idea how this relates or doesn’t relate to it. . .BUT, I get to enjoy it as its own thing. . .so. . .

Anyway, there are three kids who can see murders before they happen, and they’re taken from frolicking through a field (like all kids do. . .) to being part of the Pre-Crime division, getting hooked up to wires and having their brains scanned for crimes. Fun! Then the division was shut down and they were sent in to the world. Not fun.

One of them, Dash, sees a crime, sketches the guy’s face (and in the future, all drawings of perps still just look like dudes in hoodies) and then tries to stop it, but ends up running into the wrong building. Cue lady falling out of a window.

Dash jabs his face with Reverse Botox (TM), which causes his muscles in his face to melt or something. . .finds a detective and gives her his notebook. She then goes off to work flirt with her boss. Luckily, a coworker with some sort of Mike Tyson face tat calls them out on it. They quickly figure out who committed the murder, find the guy, and he dies by an I-beam falling on him. . .on purpose. Yikes.

So then, there’s a candidate who is being targeted. Girl cop (Lara) and Dash track back a search about security at his rally to a phone at the Pre-Crime jail. He’s gone, but his roomie is on the roof playing with passenger pigeons and his daughter is dodging questions but not at all suspected. Are Law & Order marathons not a thing in the future? Do you not know to suspect the person who just happens to be around? Anyway, dude is making his own Alfred Hitchcock movie on the roof and then jumps off (why didn’t he do that before? Why isn’t there more security at this prison?). Lara chases him in what looks like a leather trench, and I keep yelling at the tv, “Take your coat off! You’re gonna get stuck!!” What does she do? Gets stuck.

There’s a scene that I think only serves to reference Iggy Azalea as an “oldie” and Mom tells a story about meeting her husband on Tinder. Also, in the future, you can get pregnant in your 60s.

Mooooving on. Lara and Dash go meet with Dash’s cute twin, who can’t see the crime, but sees names and addresses. He tells them where to find Bird Dude and hits on Lara. He’s also a bit of a skeeze. . .but a cute one!

They figure out that Bird Dude is in a mall that never opened, Lara puts on her best “Shit’s gonna go down, better make sure my boobs are on display” outfit, and they find him getting ready to send Bernice and friends to attack this candidate (who used to run Pre-Crime. . .and played for the Washington Redclouds. . .also, that name finally changed). They have him cornered, and the daughter shows up with a gun (see?!) and then they kill her, and Lara is arresting the dude, but Dash pre-sees that he’s gonna stab her, so he throws him off the balcony, killing him.

We end with the two siblings. . .who see that they’re gonna be taken again to solve pre-crimes. . .

Reaction:
So many thoughts! First, it was a fun show – lots of cool technology to make it seem like we are in the future and technology has advanced, but not to the point where there’s nothing we recognize. For example, we still have TVs like they did 60 years ago, they just look different now. Overall, video replaces pictures, holograms replace videos. And slap bracelets can take selfies. Best of all, there was a genetic revolution that somehow made french fries healthy. I’m in, future!

There’s a lot of CGI, and I’m assuming they had more time for the pilot to make it look great. I hope that for future eps on tighter timelines that it doesn’t look fake. The story is fun with action elements, and it really makes me want to watch the movie!

Show Thesis: “For Pre-Crime to work, you can’t be able to change your destiny.”

What it’s against on my TiVo:
Nothing!

What it’s against that night:
ABC: Dancing with the Stars
CBS: Scorpion
CW: Jane the Virgin
NBC: The Voice

Verdict: No, but I will watch the movie!

Prediction: This is tough b/c it was a fun show, but didn’t do well in the ratings and lost audience from its lead-in (Gotham). I think it will pick up audience, so I’m gonna say. . .
Yes to Season 2.

The Breakdown
Quote from Kid Who’s Too Smart: “Sure. . .’colleague’. . .”
Over-Dramatic News Promo: A man in custody for a 30 year old cold case!!!
Unnecessary Slam on Something Innocuous:

Oh my gosh! That’s. . .

Fez!

Fez!

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